"You aren't saved, Brian," Karen said. "God won't allow me to go on getting closer to you if you're not saved. I just can't do this. I've been praying for you, but you've got to make that choice for Him yourself."

This is my story, I'm afraid—this is the minute my duplicity really began. I touched her shoulder, helped her get up and we quietly hugged at the door, while inside I was screaming, "Who the hell are you to judge me, to do this to me? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE AND STAY OUT!" A minute after the door closed she came back, still crying.

"Brian, I'm not going to abandon you. I know God wouldn't want me to do that. He probably wants me to stick by you more than ever. I'm gonna be here for you, Brian." I nodded. She hugged me and left. I shut the door and wanted even then, in the silence of my own place, to let that scream go, but couldn't.

*

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